I was working with a friend the other day and she said something that really surprised me. “It’s amazing that we’re friends because you are worried about someone thinking that you’re lying when you’re not and I have no problem lying.”
I couldn’t believe she was so cavalier about something I take so seriously. I thought that she would at least have some guilt around it, especially because, like me, she’s Jewish and it’s our birthright.
Look, I’m not naïve. I know that people lie, but I was raised to work hard, be good to people and above all, be honest.
When it comes to lying, it’s not even something I consider doing. Not even in my stories except on The Liar Show where it’s part of the show. Even then it’s hard, but I’m not gonna lie (pun very much intended), when I was the liar on the show, I reveled in it. Other than that, I’m honest to the core.
Now not everyone knows that I’m so trustworthy. I need to earn their trust much like they need to earn mine and that’s fine. I know it’ll just be a matter of time like with my neighbors.
We need to get to know each other before we take that big next step and give each other keys to our respective apartments. That is one of the ultimate acts of trust. One that I hold dear and don’t take lightly.
It wasn’t until I moved into my current building that I even considered having my neighbors keep a spare set of my keys at their place in case of an emergency. Over time, we developed a nice friendship. They even called me Helen Roper because they thought I was so much fun and I lovingly called them Jack and Larry. When they asked me to hold onto their keys, I didn’t give it a second thought and I gave them mine without blinking an eye.
When you live in a big city like New York, it’s comforting to have that type of trust and it can come in handy. There have been times when I’ve been away and they’ve needed tin foil and others when they’ve been away and I’ve needed a tool they had. We shoot each other a text, get the go ahead and in we go. Piece of cake.
Yesterday, I wanted to see a piece of furniture that I was considering buying in another neighbor’s apartment. In the spirit of Three’s Company, let’s call her Janet. I sent Janet a text asking if I could pop over to check it out quickly. Since Janet was traveling, she had some hesitation. Completely understandable. Lord knows, I don’t want people coming in to my place when I’m gone for a few days. I’m always racing out the door leaving all manner of things untidy except the dishes. Those are always done.
I texted Janet and said something I rarely say, “You can trust me.”
Her response contained the magic words, “Oh, I totally trust you.”
I knew she did, but I wanted to reassure her that her belongings would be safe, untouched and judgment-free. She granted me access, I popped in for a minute, took one last look at the item in question and left everything the way I found it. The way I was raised.
Will we help each other again? Definitely. Janet and I have already come to each other’s rescue with toilet paper, a hair dryer when mine started smoking and more. Like this 30-day challenge, it’s the little things that add up over time that build that kind of trust and it’s one that I am happy to uphold.
Do you have a trusting relationship with your neighbors? Do you think of yourself as more of a Janet or a Chrissy? ;) Do you share my feelings about lying or are you comfortable with it? Tell me below!